It has been a long time

It has been a long time since I’ve written in my blog.   By the end of this you may understand a bit more why.

Back in April of 2012 I was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer.  I had already stopped writing due to the tests that I had been going though leading up to the final diagnosis.  From the point of diagnosis till the end of October I went through a plethora of tests and biopsies and treatments that left me run down both on a physical level and in an emotional way as well.  I can honestly say that when you feel old you are.  When you feel young you are.  It is a lot about how you feel as to what you are.  Maybe I should change that to this:  It is what you think you are that makes you what you are.  I felt old.  I felt run down.  I felt used up and it had a great impact on the way I lived day to day.

That is all in the process of changing.  Not because I have gotten any younger as that is impossible.  You can’t literally take any years off your life.  But it IS because of how I feel and think about my life.  It is about how I choose to think.  Not so much how my body feels though that does play into it.

I am beginning to get some of my stamina back.  My energy level is improving though I can see that it is going to be a long slow process.  If you are wondering what kind of treatments I went through, well, I chose the radio-active seed implant variety of treatment.  That along with external beam radiation therapy.  So far everything is going in the right direction and I have to give both credit and thanks to my doctors that were involved for all they prescribed, did, and are doing all along the way.

Now that ended (in some fashion) back in October and it is now February.  That too is a long time and you may be wondering why I haven’t written till now.  Well, to be honest (I know, bad cliche’), I just didn’t feel like it.  That old feeling, the used up feeling, the not so sure I even wanted to try anymore feeling was all over me.  Slowly dissipating but still there as I began to regain strength which I am told may take up to a year and a half from the date of the last treatment.  Even then I will have some things that just won’t ever be the same.

BUT…  Things are a changing even now.  Each day that goes by I am getting stronger and the energy is coming back.  It is as if life is coming back in.

Now…  It would be nice if that were all that had or has happened.  It is not.

Elaine, my wife of two years today, is recovering from surgery of just two weeks ago yesterday.  What kind?  Brain kind.  Yup, she had a tumor the size of a tangerine located inside the left side of her skull (left temporal lobe).  It was a Meningioma which, of the two types normally found in brains, is the best kind (if there is such a thing) to have.   It had been growing for between 2 and 3 years (or so we are told) and we knew nothing of it till it started effecting her balance.

Looking back we could see how it effected other areas of her life but those that know her wrote many of those symptoms to such things as stress, concern, worry, etc…   We now understand what was going on and how it effected her.

Today…  it is our anniversary.  With all that we have gone through over the past few years I feel blessed to be where we are.  This includes where we are geographically, physically, and emotionally.  Elaine was certainly the right choice.  I could not have done better.  I could ask her if she felt the same and I would be willing to bet she feels the same.  I am not going to ask right now but if you feel the need for her to answer then she could answer you if you chose to ask by responding to this post.  Either way, it changes nothing so far as my feeling on the matter.  She is what I have been looking for all my life.  The one!  She has proven it.

Well…  now you know the why.  Hopefully my time will permit me to write more much sooner.  I have tried to write several times and even did so but never got to a point where I felt it was worthy of you.  I could not seem to finish my thought to finish a blog post.  This one is different and is more of a report than a blog about thought but it IS a start.  Hope to see you soon.

BTW…  Elaine is doing well.  Very well.  Improving every day.  I expect her to be 100% very soon.  I’ve already seen such immense improvement that I am fairly certain she should be back to her normal levels within a week or two.  Astounding if you ask me.

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Conscious and unconscious “do”ing

Sometimes we “try” to do, think or be a certain way.

Its been said that you can do anything you think you can do.  I will take issue with that in a minute but let it be said that I do believe that you can do anything you set your mind to do if it doesn’t violate physics.  Now I’m not implying that you can not fly or that you can’t slow down light or move a mountain if you choose and have the materials and money and etc…. to do it.  On top of that, what we “know” as being physics may not be all there is to it.  No-one has all the answers.  Not you.  Not me.  Not even Steven Hawking (Quantum Physics Expert) though he may come close.  Actually, when he has found all the answers a new question will arise to throw it all out of sorts, right?

So what exactly do I mean?

This really has to do with how we think.  Not just from an intellectual frame of mind but rather at the very base level of our being.  What we think about when we are conscious is not really all that is going on is it?  If it were, why would we “react” the way we do?  Things that have happened long ago in our own experiences effect how we think and what we do.  It is a subconscious issue.  Childhood experiences, relationships, and outside influences have all placed their mark on our lives to the extent that we react rather than respond.  Even attempting to combat this by intentionally thinking consciously about our actions and reactions to each individual event in our lives often fails miserably.  Not because we are not capable of making the proper choices but rather because we have been programed as it were over the course of our life.

This is the difference between conscious and unconscious doing.  Conscious doing requires conscious thought.  The resultant action may or may not be completely conscious.  You may be able to control what you do but it is a far different thing concerning how you feel about what you are doing.  You can choose to smile through a situation that inside is causing you great anguish.  The unconscious doing is that your stomach is churning, your blood pressure is rising, hateful thoughts come into play, you may start to perspire or get sick to your stomach, your head may ache, there is that common fight or flight feeling that has to be dealt with at that moment, and a variety of other uncomfortable and very uncontrollable issues could come into play.  You have chosen to act against what you truly feel and believe deep within yourself.

Changing how you think takes a great deal of work.  It can be done but it is NEVER easy and it is a “one step at a time” tedious task to say the least.  Life changing experiences can help make changes.  Maturity often causes changes where a response becomes dictatorial over a reaction.

Experience is a good teacher so long as the student is willing to learn.  Ah yes…  That willing to learn portion.  Difficult isn’t it?

Def:  Insanity – doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. (I know this is only one definition)

So many times I have seen this in others.  It is much more difficult to see your own faults.  Yes… I’ve done this too.  At least till I got tired of it.  You too I’m sure.  Still, as we grow older we start to figure out at least some of the things we have been doing wrong all along.  Learning from mistakes is what it takes to gain wisdom.  Show me a wise man and I will show you a man that has made many mistakes.  (and learned from them)

Life exists to a large extent through unconscious doing.  Conscious doing is what generates advancement via learning.

Be a human-being.  Not a human-doing.

Be, be, be the ball.  🙂

But I digress.

Have a great day.

Which side?

I was recently asked a rather interesting question. That question triggered thoughts on so many levels I can’t begin to explain. It was intended as a joke but developed into what I am writing now.

The question: On which side of the chicken are the most feathers?

Yes… simple enough. It can be obvious or obscure. The choice is yours really. How deep into the question do you see? Is it a trick question? Is there actually a “side” of a chicken that has more feathers than another? Do the size of the feathers matter? What would you call a “side” of a chicken? Front? Back? Left? Right? Top? Bottom? The answer, of course, was: THE OUTSIDE!

One of the things this triggered with me is what is it that we look at and with what do we look?

It has become more and more apparent to me that nearly everyone looks on the outside only to make their judgements about anyone or anything.  We tend to see how handsome a politician is to determine if that politician is the correct candidate.  Never mind qualifications.  Never mind past discrepancies.  Never mind if their history of lying.  How young are they?  How eloquent?  How well dressed?

The same holds true for potential mates.  How pretty or handsome is this girl or that guy?  How much money do they have or seem to have? (still its an outward thing)   How well dressed or how neat is their hair?  What kind of car do they drive or where do they live?  These things might be of some use but the real nitty gritty about it all is what is really important.  How do they or would they treat me as a mate?  How confident can I be in the relationship?  How much can I trust them to be honest with me yet understanding and even tender enough to allow me to make a mistake or two (not talking about fidelity here)?  How much can I trust that person to be faithful?  What is THEIR history?  What does it tell me?  What about their Family history of faithfulness?  Does that matter?  Can I trust this person for the rest of my life to be there through the thick and the thin?  What will this person do when it REALLY gets tough?  These questions are SOOOO  much more important than the outward signs of glitz, glimmer, or glow.

In speaking with one of my favorite consults, he impressed on me to look at this from another perspective as well.  Not only should I (or we) look at things (or people) in a deeper fashion, but we should also look at things (and/or people) from a “big picture” type outlook.  I have eluded to both aspects of perspective in previous posts.  The idea or concept of digging deeper has always been of importance to me.  To find the truth in layers underneath the surface takes time and effort.  It is also true that we get another perspective when we look at things from an “outside the box” view.  This would have given the answer to the “feathers” question an easy choice from the start.  But it is also true that this is not the first aspect from which we gather out intel.

It is a natural thing to look on the surface.  But what is seen there is seldom all there is.

It takes work to view below the surface.  It takes courage to look at things from that out-of-the-box viewpoint.

Most of us have been fooled at one point or another because of our own inability to look at things as we should.  The old adage of “Beauty is only skin deep” can be misleading.  Others have added to it that “ugly goes all the way to the bone.”  Again misleading.  Outward beauty truly is only skin deep and fades quickly with the passing of time.  Inward “ugly” truly does go all the way to the bone as it is the core of the individual that has that personality inside them and it seldom changes even with time.  Still, inward beauty can and usually does last a lifetime and shows both outwardly and from within.  What we “normal” people (wow is that a misnomer) would call ugly from an outward appearance is of little consequence if the person in question is viewed from a purely personality perspective.  Outward appearance, perceived intelligence level, or even extremity differences matter little where the inward person is concerned or viewed.

Having been involved with counselors and students and teachers of all levels of education I have been privileged to learn and see all manner of people using their talents to shine where others neither would have nor could have.  I’ve seen students labeled as disabled or challenged succeed where “normal” regular ed students failed miserably.  I remember the quote that hung over the door of the classroom for the severely handicapped hung by the teachers of that class that read “the difficult we can do right away; the impossible may take a little longer.”  And they meant that.  I’ve seen works of art from people that had no hands.  I’ve heard wonderful music from people that had no sight to see the notes.  I’ve seen slow learners pass difficult tests and show significant detail in their thought processes.

(In case you don’t recognize them…  Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles, Andre Botticelli, Steven Hawking, & Oscar Pistorius)
It is interesting to me that Beethoven went deaf yet composed, conduct and perform even after he went totally deaf.    Van Gogh was mentally ill and died at 37 after producing over 2000 works of art.

What we see is not what is.  It takes viewing from three (or more) levels to interpret even a portion of what may actually be.  Looking from within on a microscopic level.  looking on the outside from an every day perspective, and looking from far outside the normal boundaries.  Feathers grow from the inside to show on the outside but you have to see the dog chasing the chicken to see why it is running and feathers are flying.

Don’t judge someone just because they seem to be hard to deal with.  There may be much more to why they are that way than you can see.  People are not happy when they are in pain.  That pain can take many forms.  Give of your peace to them that have not.  Share with another the beauty that you see.  It may just make their day.

Don’t judge because of what you see.  Outward appearance is a mere shell of what is within.

Which side are you looking at?

I found this and feel that it is just the ticket to bring this home in a way that I can not.  It is worth the view.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsNlcr4frs4

If you get the chance or just want to there are several others about them that are also very good.

who is to blame

This has been a fairly good summer this year for me.

About 6:30 AM in the morning, a cup of hot coffee, out to the back yard where we have our garden which we have worked on since spring of this year.  Many flowers of blue and purple, some yellow, some white, and some hedges of deep green and red.  Other ornaments such as a Bird bath and several bird feeders, a mirror, our Saint Francis of Assisi statue (one of two that we have), an angel or two, a couple of other concrete garden ornaments, and a bird house I recently built myself without any plans. It is a time of day that I have been enjoying with my wife each morning most mornings.

We then have been going for a walk, feeding the goats on the farm across the way.  They know us now.  They come running expecting the hand out of carrots, cucumber, or other veggies that we have prepared for them.  Its a hoot just watching them run to us baying as they come as if to say “wait for me.”

I had opportunity to ride the Harley and we have done so.  Sometimes with a purpose.  Sometimes with no purpose or destination involved.  We have eaten at new places, enjoyed talking about just anything, babysitting the grand baby (Jake), going tubing in Helen, and really just anything we wanted to do.  That “anything” also wound up included saving a small goat from a bitter end.  We are currently looking for a petting zoo or such to take her since she is now healed from her wounds and getting healthier by the day.

No, I didn’t win the lottery.  No relative died and left me tons of cash.  What we have enjoyed has cost very little monetarily.  It was really more about the little things and quality time with each other and within ourselves than anything else.  For me it was a time of personal recharging.  I really needed some time off.

Why?  Don’t we all?  I mean that.  Don’t we ALL just need some time off once in a while?  I’m not talking about time off from work to do chores though I did plenty of that too.  I’m talking about actual quality time off where you spend time with the ones you love enjoying their fellowship and sometimes not being with anyone doing anything.  Yep…  Did some real sleeping too.  🙂   Whenever I wanted.  She did too.

Some of my time I spent reading.  This is something that I love to do but seldom make time to do it.  I finished a book I started while on vacation.  It wasn’t a large book but it is fair to say that I start a lot of books and often find that I never finish them.  I’ve met new friends (in the parking lot in front of Target near the Mall of GA).  I’ve enjoyed their cookies and coffee, dodged their Frizbie throws and shared in their conversation.  We watched a great fireworks show that evening.

Part of this time I spent evaluating myself.  Self reflection, deep inward searching, to see, if I could, just what it was that might be wrong with me.  Don’t take this the wrong way.  I don’t feel that I am broken.  I don’t feel that I am a misfit or that I have somehow failed at life.  I don’t.  I also don’t feel that I have made all the correct decisions.  In fact… I know I haven’t.  I’m not perfect.  There you have it.  In writing.  I KNOW I’m not perfect.  It is true.  I’m sorry if I have let any of you down.  🙂

So… who is to blame?  It is me.  I know that.  The decisions I have made were my decisions.  The mistakes I have made were mine.  If I have misrepresented myself, it was my fault.  If I failed to make the grade, it was my fault.  If I didn’t love someone the way I should have it was me.  My fault.  I’m to blame.  I found in my searching that I had no-one else to blame.  Yes, I could have blamed it on anyone.  Many people do.  They could say it was their mother or father.  They could blame their circumstances.  I’ve done that before.  I’ve blamed others for my failures or shortcomings.  I could not do it this time.  Not in such a deep search of myself.

My own children have little to do with me.  Is it my fault?  I guess I’d have to say yes.  At least some of it is my fault.  I have to take responsibility for what I have done or have not done regarding their lives.  I have to look at things completely and understand my portion in their attitude toward me.  Yes, they have their own minds and decisions to make.  Yes, they are adults and make up their own minds.  Still, I have played a part in all of it.

I am not taking blame for all things.  Just my portion.  What I am responsible for.  What I have done or not done.  My decisions – good or bad.  I am happy with who I am.  I am happy with where I am in life and all that has happened to me.  Were it any other way I would not be the man I am today.  To some this may not be enough.  To me it is.  I may not have attained all that was possible but I have made it to where I am.  To me and for me I feel that I have made progress and that is enough for me.

I’ve loved and lost.  I’ve loved and lost and loved again.  It would appear that I am one of those that finds it easy to love and to forgive.  Well, that last part may be challenged from time to time.   It is easier for me to love than it is to forgive.  On an old issue of Mayberry R.F.D. I remember Gomer Pile saying “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.”  I took that to heart.

The point to all of this is…  too many people, most in fact, do not take responsibility for their life.  In fact they don’t want to take responsibility for anything.  Not their life, their circumstances, what they do, how much they have or don’t have, whether or not they drive crazy, dress weird, drink too much, say the wrong thing, treat others the wrong way, make stupid statements, deceive others, steal, cheat, lie, speed, text while driving, flip somebody off, didn’t stand up for something we knew we should or stood for something we knew we shouldn’t, you name it.  Parents teach their children.  Either by direction or by deception.  Either by truth or by lie.  By what they say or by what they do.  Either way they teach whether they know it or not.

I don’t know about you but I get real tired of kids blaming anyone and everyone but themselves for what they do.  But hey… they learned it from us.  Want to say that this group of kids is worse than we were or that the youth today are worse than they were when you were a kid?  Think again.  That argument has been going on since Aristotle.  And if it IS true… we are to blame.

I’ve said all this to say… take responsibility for yourself and your actions.  Teach your children to do the same.  They are watching.  Actions speak louder than words.  Really they do.

BTW – Since the beginning of this particular blog (which took me some time) we have donated Sweet Pea to the Pettit Creek Farms petting zoo which is in Cartersville, GA.  She is in a new, more appropriate home and doing well.

reality – really?

It was not uncommon for me in my early years to hear such comments from my father as “son… get your head out of the clouds and come back to reality.”  I was a dreamer.  Don’t really know that it ever changed.  Ok… so I don’t have my head in the clouds but I do still dream.  I don’t walk around daydreaming.  I save my dreaming for when I have time to relax and just let my mind wander.

It really is a good thing (to dream).  Some call it dreaming.  Some call it having a vision.  Not one of those instances where you see things that aren’t there like a mirage.  Its seeing thins as they could be.  As you want them to be.  As you “envision” them to be.

So much has been written lately about how to “think” your way to riches or the love life you want or whatever.  In many ways it is true.  In some ways it is not.  There is the movie “The Secret” and others like it.  Books are written every day by some guru telling others how to find nirvana which is just another way of saying the same thing.  It seems to me that this is really nothing more than a search for one’s inner self.  A search for a true happiness that a person finds void in their own lives.  So much is coming to mind right now I can’t write it all.  So I’ll pause…

>>>>>>>>>>>

OK… I’m back…  It was really too much to write here.

What is reality?

Is it what we see?  Can you touch reality?  Is it some thing?  I say we do not really know.  There are those that would argue that reality only exists if you can feel, touch, hear, see, or otherwise interact on a physical level to what is in question.  But is that really so?  Is a dream real?  Can you feel, touch, hear, see or otherwise interact in a dream?

When was the last time you had a dream?  Do you remember your dreams or do they just wake you in the night (or whenever you sleep)?  If you are “awakened” out OF a dream, was it real at the time?  How did it effect you?  Did your heart race?  Were you afraid or even experiencing some form of pleasure?  Did you “feel” as though the things IN the dream were real?

I recently got a serious cold.  As a result I had to take some medications.  As a result of that I wound up not sleeping as well at night sometimes.  As a result of that I found myself up at 3:00 AM one morning (got up at 3:00) and watched a favorite movie of mine.  One that deals directly with this subject we are confronting right now.   The movie?  “A Beautiful Mind” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Beautiful_Mind_%28film%29) Starring Russell Crowe.

The story is based on…. well… you can read the previous link to see all about it.  Really, what I am trying to get to here is that the character (John Nash) has a problem.  That problem is psychological in nature and he sees things and people that to him are very real but to others they are not there.  The point I am trying to make is that reality in his mind may not be the same as that of others around him but it is very real none the less.

Our mind plays tricks on us regularly.  There are things that are biological in nature that effect what we see or don’t see.  Yet we rely on our senses to determine what we accept as being real or not real.  We use our senses, or what we perceive as our senses, to determine what our reality is.  There has been record of people feeling things that are not there.  Phantom Limb Syndrome, burning skin sensations, and others even to the point that the skin or area connected to the supposed sensation becomes effected physically.  The mind believes that it is burning or otherwise hurting and so the body responds accordingly.

I can often refer to the bible simply because I was raised around it and learned a good bit of it.  One of the statements in the bible is: “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” (Proverbs 23:7 KJV) This message is played over and over again in the self help books trying to convince you of how to gain access to untold wealth or happiness.  The truth is… it has always been that way.  Another movie I recently watched was “Iron Lady” portraying the life of Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher.  In this movie she makes a statement of what she had been taught by her father.  “Watch your thoughts for they become words.  Watch your words for they become actions.  Watch your actions for they become habits.  Watch your habits for they become your character.  Watch your character for it becomes your destiny.  What we think we become.”  This says so much!

By the way…  Iron Lady moved a bit slow for me.  I did gain from watching it but to be honest I did not watch the whole movie.

Great ideas come to people.  Not from reality but from “unreality.”  Creations, innovations, concepts, ideas… all come from somewhere other than what is currently perceived as being real.  It is an “idea” that creates it.  It comes from within someone somewhere.  They may think of it while dreaming or not dreaming.  While just sitting still (which I think is awesome)(Be still and know…) many ideas can come to creative people.  Creative people are those that have learned to think beyond the limits of “reality” to see things that can or could be.

So…  Your reality… My reality…  Your dreams or my dreams…  It doesn’t really matter.  Just take time to dream a bit.  Find what you really want and dream about it.  Let your thoughts become you.  Let you… become your thoughts.  Where there is no vision (dream – thought – belief in…) the people parish (Proverbs 29:18 KJV).

I love these commercials about Satellite TV…    “Don’t be found in a road side ditch…” or “don’t go to your own funeral.”  In this case… don’t waste away your life by not finding or living your dreams.  They become your reality.  After all, to some extent, you choose your reality.  What you think… you become.  (Not always, but much of the time.)

By the way folks…  I love to see comments.  Please feel free to speak your mind.

For those that are interested or know anything about me…  I did not get the position I applied for.  Did I derserve it?  Yes.  Did I have the qualifications?  I and others thought so.  Did I now believe enough?  That was not the problem.  I was actually shocked that I did not get the position.  I say all of this so that you will understand that just because you honestly believe doesn’t always make it so.

boxes in the way

So much, so fast, so many people, so little time, so much information, so much to do, so many places to go and things to do and people to see and places to see and…. SOOO MUCH….

Our world moves fast.  It seems that it moves faster each day.  Each day brings new technology and new ways to communicate.  Better and faster ways to keep others informed about our lives.  We email, Facebook, Tweet, Link in, phone, text, and find other ways to keep in touch.  We watch news, have our RSS feeds, listen to the radio (old school I know) watch TV, Movies, online, on our iPad or iPhone, take pictures of ourselves, edit them on line, store them in the cloud, send them in messages or in our email or just post them to Flicker or some other location and send out a link.  We anxiously await the next text.  If we haven’t gotten an update on a friend’s page we call or tweet or txt to see if they are still alive.  Our phone is our watch, our calendar, our video device, our mode of communication.  Our entire lives are stored there.

We go out to eat, go to the Mall, go to the grocery store, Block Buster, Red Box, Wall Mart, Macy’s, etc…  We shop, we eat, we run, we swim, we hike, bike, walk the track, get a latte’, read our ebook, surf, download, upload, and on and on and on.

So many things.

A good friend of mine said it best the other day.  We are human-doings.  Not human-beings.

When was the last time you sat and just thought.  Scary I know.  But we have become a people of human-doings  doing and doing till there is no time left to “do” anything else so we go to sleep so that we can get up and do some more tomorrow.

Is this what you were meant to be?  How can you BE anything if you fill your life so full of doing that there is no room to BE?  How can you truly focus on anything until you have focused on yourself to see what is really there?

It is time to move some of the boxes out of the way.  It is time for you to choose to say “NO… I’m NOT going to check that text.  No, I’m not going to answer that call.  I’m not going to read that email, watch that program, listen to this or that.”  You have let too many “things” get in the way of you being.  Its time to prioritize, organize, and even eliminate some things that are taking you away from “being” and making you a “doing”

Yes…  Wake UP and smell the coffee.  Stop and smell the roses.  Get rid of the clutter in your life and become a being again and just BE once in a while.

Perceptions

Where to begin.

You may not think this to be a deep or massive subject.  Or maybe you do understand this to be the case.  I’m not sure.  Either way, I’m going to try to begin to scratch the surface on what I believe to be the end all to total chaos… Perceptions.

This goes to every level of the being.  Everything from what we have “learned” as a child to what we “learn” as adults.  I put those “learn” words in quotes for a reason.  What we supposedly “learn” may not really have any significance at all.  It all has to do with what we perceive that is what we believe to be true.  At least for our own lives.

Even such things as “culture” or what culture we have grown up or lived in is still a perception or has its own perceptions that have been created.  Not necessarily correctly.  Just that they are a part of our understanding of how things are.  In actuality they are really NOT!

Why is it that we perceive everyone to understand things the way we do?  Why is it that we perceive that others should or do believe or feel or live the same as you or I.  Do they have the same history?  Did they grow up with the same values?  Did they get up this morning with a roof over their heads, shoes on their feet, food in their belly, love in their hearts, family gathered round or nearby?  Do they have money in the bank, a dog to call their own (insert pet of your choice if you don’t like the dog comment)?  Do they have the same religion or any religion at all?  Did they grow up in or are they living in a free society?  Do they have running water or dependable electricity?  Do they have health care or do they have insurance or have they even ever seen a doctor in their life?

We tend to perceive everyone from our own perspective believing somehow that they should understand everything that we do the way we do just as we do.  While this may be a normal thing, it is not right.  I hesitate on that word because “right” or “wrong” is also a perception in many things (if not most).  Still, it is a misconception to think that others see things the way we do at any given point.

I have written about this in other posts to some extent.  It still breathes in my very being.  To understand perceptions is a feat of untold difficulty.  It is a challenge greater than most in that it requires one to be sensitive to a level of understanding that few have ever even taken a glance.  Maybe because it requires a level of thought much deeper than the individual can fathom.  I’m not sure.  I know I try in as many ways as I can but I fall short of my own expectations so often on this that I dare not expect this of others.  A plethora of books have been written.  A multitude of people have studied the intricacies of the human Ego.  Much has been said.  Much has been done.  Very little knowledge has truly been attained.  Maybe its not that so little has been attained as it is that the subject is so vast.

How do you teach one to be perceptive of others perceptions?  How do you encourage someone to be mindful of others needs, feelings, history, thoughts, and/or other factors.  We can only imagine.  We have not yet begun to be able to read a mind or thoughts.   Is it possible to gather enough information in a brief moment to evaluate the perceptions of the other person enough to credibly understand what they are perceiving of us?

We perceive that the person that cut us off in traffic is a bad driver or rude.  Is this true?  Is it possible that they got up on the wrong side of the bed (so to speak)?  Is it possible that they are late and are in danger of loosing the only source of income they may have to pay their bills?  Is it because they just learned that someone they love is dying and their mind is not focused on driving?  Is it possible that they have their child in the back seat that they are headed to the doctor?  Yes, it’s possible.  It is also possible that they are a bad driver and ARE rude.  Actually, in this society, it is much more likely to be the first but it is still possible for the other.

So

Why do you think the person behind the counter gave you the wrong change?  Why do you think your food order got mixed up?  Why DID that person cut you off?  Why were you hung up on?  Why are people lazy at work?  Why do other nations hate the US?  Do they really hate the US?  If so, why are they trying so hard to come here?  Why does this person or that person believe the way they do?  Why is it that others believe differently than you? (or I)  What makes you think that everyone else has the same education as you, the same mental capacity as you, the same financial situation, love relationships, family relationships, or even a similar belief system in any capacity as you or me?

Perceptions.