being real


You hear about reality all the time.  Most of the time it is not REALLY talking about reality in any way.  There are reality TV shows that have absolutely nothing to do with reality.  The people that are portrayed by the media in politics are seldom if ever truly real but then you know that.  People are not who they say they are, they put on a show, they fake others out, they cheat, they lie as much as possible, or maybe the show itself is all a fake with “real” “actors” involved (isn’t that an oxymoron?).  At any rate, what people are looking for is NOT truly reality.  They are looking for entertainment.  And that is what they are given.  The plots, the tricks, the alliances, the drama is mostly if not totally NOT real.  Of course… this is MY opinion.  I’m certain that someone would take issue with this.

On the other hand, in the soul of each person there is the need for seeing reality in others.  We look for people that are honest, forthright, caring, happy but not fake-ish, and just basically real.  The best musicians are those that are real with their public.  Those that have experienced life are those that can place the feeling down deep into the music.  That is what makes it speak to you down deep in your soul.  The best preachers, the best teachers, the best people as a whole are those that can relate to you.  Those that you can relate to.  Those that can communicate that they too have had to deal with life in a way that shows they understand what I or you are dealing with.  Empathy if you will.

When you hear that love song.  The one that makes you wonder how that person singing knows how you really feel even when you thought you were the only one that had ever felt quite like this.  It certainly is astonishing.  Amazing to the extent that we live is such a self created, small, minuscule, minute realm to believe that what we feel has so seldom been felt by anyone else and then we hear this song or read a poem or see a sign that says just exactly what we feel.  How did they know.

Yes… its true that you can be fooled.  We all can.  But the search exists and goes on.  The desire to have a relationship with someone that is being truthful with you, being honest, being real is at the heart of the desire for connection.  While it may seem satisfying when someone lies to you even if for a while, the truth is that the reality will eventually show its ugly face and you are forced to deal with the unpleasantness of coming face to face with REALITY.  The REAL person.  Even if that liar is yourself.

Finding real people is much more difficult than it may seem.  It is my opinion that this is not always due to that person in question trying to fool anyone.  I think that, more often than not, it is caused by that person’s lack of knowing themselves.  They have attempted to be someone they are not for so long that they don’t even realize that they are faking themselves into believing that they are something they really are not.  It could be because they want to be something they are not but it is more likely that they are trying to meet some perceived expectation of someone else.

Trying to please someone else by the way you live your life does not work for anyone.  It can appear to do so but in true reality, since that is what we are talking about here, it never will satisfy.  Not the individual living to satisfy someone else nor the person they are trying to satisfy.  Why…  because it isn’t real.  Fake is always fake.  Even if it takes a really close look to tell.  It is still fake.  You can tell a fake smile.  At least most of the time.  You can feel when that person asking you how you are really means it.  And you can tell when they don’t too.

As for myself, I want to deal with people that I can know are being real with me.  It doesn’t matter if they don’t like me so long as they are honest about it.  I can deal with that.  I like it much better if they do like me but knowing the truth does indeed set you free.  It allows you to be cognizant of the reality of the situation whether bad or good.   Hopefully good.

What this really boils down to is trust.  You can’t trust fake.  You can’t trust a lie or liars and they come in so many forms, colors, shapes, sizes, etc…  Whether the lie/fake is a purse, a watch, a pair of jeans, or a person… fake is fake.  When the object or person in question is real it is so much better.  Even if the reality is that it is old or broken or hurtful.  Even if it does not measure up to what you wanted it is so much easier to accept when it is real.  Adjustments can be made in expectations.  Acceptance can be fairly measured.  Truth survives.

Fake, fakes, lies, liars, will all be revealed eventually.  Truth reigns supreme.  Truth lives on.  Truth is real.  Real is truth.  Simple I know.  But simple is not always easy is it.

Be who you are.  Really.  Be real.

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Author: memman

Too much to tell. There is more than what is seen on the surface of any man. Some have more layers than others. I have many.

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