The Power of Touch
You’ve always known it. You may not have recognized it but you have known and know it even now. What? The POWER of touch.
We live in a world now where touch is considered taboo by many. “I need my space” or the like is often expressed by those that are in one way or another offended or put off by others getting “too close.” It is understandable in many ways seeing so many have been harmed by those that use their touch in a way that is invading or offensive in one way or another. Forcing your “touch” on someone is in no way acceptable. So, because you or someone you know has been harmed by touch, the reactive approach is often self protective to the point of paranoia. Understandably so but still it is self destructive as well.
It is self destructive because we tend to overcompensate in that arena. The arena of self protection. It is very difficult for us to allow ourselves to become vulnerable to the point that we can allow others to “possibly” harm us. Mainly because the harm is so intense and so personal. Yet it takes that vulnerability for us to allow others into our realm.
So what is with the Power of Touch?
Lets go just a step or two further on where the problem is created.
So… you can see that making yourself vulnerable is double edged. It can provide the openness to allow someone to give you immense meaning. It can also leave you shredded. Another problem is that it also keeps you so confined that you do not ever allow yourself to learn the how and why and even the more beneficial nuances of what touch is and/or can do. You seclude yourself away and build a wall that prevents you from ever trusting another or giving trust. The trust is what it takes to learn the power of the touch.
Just as with anything you do, the more you do it, the better you get.
Before your mind goes deep into some gutter… let me express right here and now that I am NOT specifically talking with regard to some sexual form of touch though that too is obviously inherent in this. I am more specifically talking about the Power of Touch as it relates to the benefits of closeness, bonding of spirits (non-alcoholic), peace, contentment, relaxation, security, and even love. For those that are so self centered that the sexual aspect is all you are interested in… you lose! Emphatically! That is NOT what touch is about. It is simply a side benefit for those that have learned the real purpose and meaning.
I recently had the wonderful experience of hearing my wife express in public how she gains peace from my touch. How secure it makes her feel. How loved, how content, how precious she becomes as a result of my gentle touch. She has told me in private. Now she is even more open about it. It was something she had to learn. How to relax and enjoy and revel in what I now understand is my love language from me to her. And now she speaks my language too. (ref. “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman)
A firm touch can provide security and be relaxing at the same time though I find that the most peaceful touch is a soft caress. As a man with strong forearms, I have to be very aware of how hard I squeeze her hand or shoulders. Whether showing her my affection by squeezing her hand to let her know my thoughts are of her and how passionate I am regarding those thoughts or when giving a massage to her back or shoulders to release the tensions that have settled in the muscles and tissue… either way, it is important to use just the right amount of pressure. Too much and it will hurt and give the wrong impression to her brain of my intent. Too soft and it can still give the wrong impression.
On the other hand, gently, and even ever so softly brushing my fingers across her face, neck, shoulders, arms or the like, can send chills through her body or make her breath a sigh of rest and relaxation that she had not felt before being in a trust relationship as deep as ours.
I say “Trust Relationship” because that is imperative to getting the most benefit out of this language of touch. Here it also means vulnerable. Vulnerability is not a bad word. It is not a bad state of mind or body either when you are being vulnerable with someone you trust.
It has been my observation that she gets the most relaxed when I softly caress her forehead, eyes, face, chin, side of her face (ears), neck-line and shoulders, and her arms. Massaging her hands with a very firm pressure also seems to relax her greatly. It is likely that your spouse is different in many ways but it is well worth the effort and time spent to find out what it is that allows you both to experience the bond that is created through touch. It is securing, it is peaceful, it is respectful, sweet, loving, and very very powerful.
Let your power begin! TOUCH!!!
PS. There is MUCH more I could say on this topic. Lets see how much you want to know or hear. Actually, this topic would expand into other topics. Interested?