I’m a happy man. No not always but I’d have to say that I am more happy than not. In fact, the last year and a half has been filled with more happiness than I thought was possible.
There have been a number of times where the happiness was fraught with pain but this was caused by outside forces, disappointments, hurts by a few that are close to me, challenges, and just life in general. Still, I not only do not wish to complain, I wish to celebrate. Why? Because I am truly happy.
Ok, I’m sure you are asking by now – “What is the change?” Well, I’m going to give much credit to my wife. We met about a year and a half ago. This wonderful woman I am now so fortunate to call my wife is the source of this new found happiness. I’d like to say that she creates it but really it is more that she fulfills it. She is “the one” that I had been searching for. In many ways, she is more than that. She is actually more than I knew I was looking for.
The funny thing is that I was looking for her and she found me. 🙂 We met on Match. I sincerely hope that this is not an illegal act by using the name of the company without their permission. If it is then I guess I’ll have to take this post down. We emailed back and forth for a while before we actually met. When we met we talked for hours. Yes… hours. Something that even surprised me. Something that surprised her too.
Of course it didn’t stop there. She was and is intense and so am I. Maybe more than she. I asked the hard questions. She didn’t flinch. She was sometimes shaken by the level of the questions but took them in stride and answered as soon as her heart could allow it. We both had history and issues but both of us were looking for the same thing. Someone to trust. Someone to trust us. Someone that could love back as much as we could give.
Are there times when we don’t see things eye to eye? Of course. But that is the beauty of it. We both have the desire to see it through. We are both committed. We are BOTH in love. She loves me almost as much as I love her. (she would beg to differ here.) She still listens to me, I still listen to her. We share “almost” everything (there ARE some boundaries). We enjoy each others company. We laugh, we listen, we learn, we love.
So, what am I saying… personally, I feel that “love” is the source of my happiness. Love for her, love from her, love of her, and just plain love.
I didn’t think I would ever find it like this. Where the person I loved could love me back the same way. It has been and is the best. Sometimes I feel that I had been looking for this for 50+ years. I wanted it. I tried to have it. It just never seemed to be there. Now it is… and I’d have to say that this may be the best time of all my life. No matter what happens now I know that she is with me. My team mate. In whatever position she needs to be. In front of me when she needs to be there. Beside me always. Behind me when I need her there. We work together toward a common goal. Not a specific goal. A continuous goal. A goal of sharing and living and loving.
I wish this for anyone and everyone reading this. To me this is a rare thing. I wish happiness for all of you. If you have not found it, it is not too late. I thought it was. It wasn’t.