Once upon a time, long, long ago, in a land so fair and bright, there lived a young boy, eager to please, full of life, excited about each day, loving music, enjoying High School, friends, the pleasures of the beach and sun and riding his motorcycle and knowing how the world was just waiting on him in so many ways. The people he knew were honest, forthright, true, believable, trustworthy, and did what they said they would do.
Ok… Ok… It wasn’t THAT long ago. It seems like it. I was a teenager (a lot of years ago to me). All of the above “seemed” to be true. Well, ok, no it didn’t. Even as a teen with life abounding… ok… so life sucked as a teen too (not all of it). Why? Because people lie. Little did I know that those years were so much just the beginning. When you are that age, 30, 40, 50, 60 or older seems so far away.
The song referenced above was written by “The Fixx” and was written years AFTER I was a teen (released in 1983) but certainly encompasses how I felt even when I was young.
Why can’t people do what they say and say what they mean? Why can’t people live like they expect other people to live? Why can’t truth be the mantra? Why can’t people express themselves openly and truthfully to others?
Why? Because, like the famous line by Jack Nicholson from the 1992 movie “A Few Good Men” – – – “You can’t handle the truth!” This is not directed at YOU in specific. That is a general thing. People really can’t handle the truth in most cases. At least they don’t really want to deal with the truth. Add to that the fact that there is vulnerability in expressing the truth and you have a cocktail for an explosive reaction by the party receiving the truth.
Someone asked me recently why I never became a minister. It is pretty plain and simple. People could not handle what I would like to say. I say “what I would like to say” here because, there is no way I would say what I really want to say even now to everyone. Until I sell a book or win the lottery or some rich relative dies and leaves me all their money (hard to do if you don’t have any rich relatives), I seriously doubt that I will ever be able to say all of what I would like to say to the whole world. Quite honestly, you just couldn’t handle it.
I will say that I am at a stage in my life where I am tired of the rat race. Did you ever realize that, even if you are winning the rat race, you are still a rat? Did it occur to you that, even if you are on the right track, if you stand still or even slow down you will get run over?
Part of the problem is that people still don’t recognize that they keep doing the same things expecting something different and getting the same results (definition of insanity). They run from “themselves” and find that they can’t get away. A Clint Black song says it best and I’d have to credit my close friend for having mentioned it to me before (song not referenced). “Where ever you go… there you are.” Don’t run. Face yourself. Know yourself.
More importantly, make it a habit that you always tell the truth. Do what you say and say what you mean. Make sure you are always true. Especially to yourself.
One more thing I need to say.
So far as all close relationships are concerned.
Communication is key. You can’t hold everything in. You can’t allow yourself to hold things in that concern you. They won’t go away (those concerns). This doesn’t mean you need to blurt out what is on your mind. Think before you speak. Speak with kindness to others. But speak you must. Clearly (very important – make sure they understand) and truthfully. Don’t wait too long or you will lose the opportunity.
Do what you say. Say what you mean. One thing leads to another.