It amazes me the amount of fear that exists in peoples lives.  Including my own.  Fears of all types.  Everything from fear of height, closed in places, of spiders, snakes, other vermin, of the dark, water, heat, cold, virus or other germs (not such a bad fear), public speaking, being seen in this or that environment or in this or that clothing or lack of, fear of dirt or grime, of something so benign as an earthworm, fear of dogs, cats, horses, motorcycles, swimming, of being to fat, of being to skinny, and the list goes on and on and on.

One fear I did not mention is fear of relationships.  There are several fears that go along with this.  Fear of loosing in a relationship.  Fear of having a relationship.  Fear of not being good enough.  Fear of it not lasting (my personal battle).  Fear of it actually lasting (yes I know some people like that).  Some people do not know how to deal with a real relationship.  Many men can not commit to it (yes…  I know I’ve used “relationship” as a word too many times already).  There are women that are the same way.

There are those that fear living as much as they fear death.  Fear of living is not all that uncommon.  Ask any psychiatrist.

Fears abound in all facets of life.  Living in fear is not good.  Living in an abundance of fear is worse.  Learning to cope with fear, facing your fears, dealing with those fears you can not squelch, accepting some of them as impossible for you at this moment in time to conquer but may someday be able to master, all of this is a good thing.

I do hope I’m not breaking any rules, but, on Gray’s Anatomy the other night, there was a patient concerned for her own health that requested a doctor to tell her the procedure in specific detail so that she and her friends could attempt to heal her through thought.  The premise of our being “beings of light” and being able to heal ourselves through our own energy (which on the show she did).  Some others portrayed it as being faith even in that very same show.

No matter what you believe, belief itself is key.  What goes on up there (in the mind) is real to you whether real to anyone else or not.  What you believe to be true actually is to a large degree.  If you are in constant fear that you are going to loose your job, something happens within you to cause you to make choices that lead to your doing or not doing something that eventually will cause that ultimate belief to exist in reality.  We project what we believe to be true.  It comes back to us in reality.  Our fears as much as our wishes.  Maybe in our fears more.  I think it has to do somewhat with how much passion you place in your belief in whatever it is at that moment.

Our world is now in fear.  It is in turmoil.  We pain in our existence on a daily basis.  We torment ourselves.  How important it is now more than ever that we take a grip on our fears and hold them down and beat them to a pulp till the fear no longer exists and we live life in freedom from our fears.  I preach to myself as much as anyone.

True living is not a life of fear.  True living is life without fear.  There will always be something that causes some doubt in us.  Our own history of our own life will continue to haunt us.  It is necessary then, at that moment, to take back the control, look at what it is, recognize it for what it is, deal with it, and move on.  It doesn’t mean it won’t crop up on us again.  Just that we have dealt with it for now.  At this time.  So that we can live again.  At least for a while.  At least for now.

Life is not an eternal bliss.  Life is a challenge.  A beautiful one.  Life is exciting.  Life….  Life is to be lived abundantly.


Author: memman

Too much to tell. There is more than what is seen on the surface of any man. Some have more layers than others. I have many.

4 thoughts on “Fear”

  1. Yes. And I would add to that last line that abundance never comes from fear. Rather fear is the one factor that is most sure to block abundant living.
    I agree with most of what you’re saying here Dan. It’s helpful to me to take a nice long look at my fears. Because “seeing the fears for what they are” I believe is what does the work of overcoming their crippling effects. And here’s why I think that works.
    I believe most of our fear resides in our unconscious. I believe that is how it is able to cripple us to the degree that it does. That is why your blog here is so great. Even taking a few minutes of the day to just stop and look at… what ARE my fears? The more things we can name… and think deeply on them… we become that much more “aware” of them… they become less unconscious by becoming more conscious.
    And in our conscious mind, we have powerful assistance, that dis-empowers anything that enters it. And I believe the real magic of it occurs when we look at the fear, and more fully understand how the fear came into being. And in doing that… really seeing that when this fear began, there was a really good reason for it. And in our acceptance of that, and not judging ourselves for the fear we have carried, but in truly understanding and accepting it, I believe releases that fear possibly to a large degree, from having to continue “dwelling” in our unconscious.
    Because what dwells in our unconscious can indeed make us feel the need to “beat it down” as you say Dan. Though I’m not saying I’m opposed to that. At least with beating it down you are addressing it consciously to a degree. And that I believe is what will help. But for me, if it is deeper understanding and acceptance that the fear is needing, the energy of a “beat down” might go against that process some. : )
    I am having to learn a healthy respect for anything that has lived in my unconscious for any length of time. Because what resides there is the majority of who I am.
    And hence the powerful depth of the two words that the Oracle in the Matrix had posted over her kitchen door. She made a special point of showing to Neo: “Know thyself”.
    That is a tall order, when at least 95% of us is unconscious.

    1. As we have discussed in the past, what you say or write tends to assist me in thought.

      I’m not completely sure what you are disagreeing with me on. Maybe about the tactic of “beating down” the fear. That is just a metaphor for the attempt to battle the fear, which we all do, and hopefully conquer the fear. Like you have indicated, all of our fears are rooted in the subconscious. I’m also aware that many of those “fears” are not really “THE FEAR” but simply a manifestation of the root of the fear. An example might be something like this: Maybe the father or mother of a person had told that person as a child that they somehow did not measure up in their appearance (not a problem of mine)(just an example). Maybe this was a consistent thing. After a period of time, a person, told something long enough, can believe what they’ve been told and it becomes a fear. The root of the problem may be some form of emotional abuse manifested as a fear of a lack of acceptance. While we may not be aware that we actually were abused emotionally, the fear can be battled.

      Much of the time many fears can grow from the root of the fear. Much like many branches from the root of one plant. The trick (I think) is to trim back those branches, one at a time, till you can get to the root. The root is the part that is subconscious. The fears are very evident in the conscious. To remove, beat down, or at least push aside the branches allows one to see the “root.” Once AWARE of the root problem a person can then begin to work on eliminating that source of pain causing the illness of life.

      It is even interesting to me that I chose to describe it in that fashion. (Pain – illness of life) Pain of the soul, that part of us that is so deep it is hidden. Even to ourselves. We tend to do that you know. Hide things that cause us pain that is. We are good at that. Hiding things. From ourselves as much as from everyone else.

      To grow in spirit, to live life abundantly, requires us to look deep at what is hidden and address the source of our pain. Once we do that we can begin to heal. Healing can take time. A long time. Still, so long as we are aware, it becomes a pleasure to live life. Aware of ourselves and the things in our life that hold us back is the first step toward living life to its fullest. Abundantly.

  2. Ok guys…I’ll bite….this is my opinion as a woman on fear.

    Earlier this year I met someone that I really felt connected to….almost love at first sight…not quite but almost. It certainly felt like that….then I felt him disappearing on me. What I was afraid of but didnt’ know is that I was afraid of abandonment. That fear stems way back in childhood and in my marriage. It manifested itself in this other person for two reasons. I ‘felt’ very comfortable with this person as if I had known him all my life. 2) I wanted a relationship. (of course). I felt fear…but didn’t know why…I handled it like I did with my exhusband…very inappropriate with someone I wasn’t married to but I was in fear based action. I didn’t know why I was acting this way I only knew I was very afraid and felt like I needed to control something…Not sure what just had to control what I could.
    In retrospect I learned I was fearful of abandonment.
    It was clear to me only until I was far removed from the situation. Now I have faced my fear and know how to react the next time.
    So I disagre with you Mike that all we have to do is think about it. Sometimes you can’t think clearly when you are in fear and you hurt.
    I do agree that it is a manifestion of the root, and yes sometimes it takes years of being by yourself….talking it out with God…because he knows your heart and he’s the only one who can HEAL you. But until you give him that chance and admit what you are feeling about fear, you are on your own. Dan I really like your last paragraph…it’s basically the same message I just say differently. Peace out!

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